Big Time Truckin': True Trucking Stories
Dispatch 21: New Year Trucker

by Kirk Gonnsen

Truckers get holidays when they want them. When we can afford to take them. I decided to do one last run before Christmas eve, and then I booked off until the 6th of the New Year. My X-mas plans were family oriented so I wasn't worried about the holiday blues on Jesus' b-day but I knew I'd never make it through the celebrated midnight hour on my own. So I had a party.

Five strange people arrived early with F. I say they were strange, but in actuality they were foreign. They were Hungarian, Romanian, Latvian, Italian and Russian - they were a group of robust women with plenty of hair and chest, accompanied by their large boyfriends with booming accented voices. Funny and fun loving. Drinking and eating with gusto. Laughing and joking. So much so that an hour and a half later they were burnt out and tired. (This was 4pm.) The rest of the guests were just arriving.

At about 6 PM the Russians, as I began to refer to them (lovingly of course, yet probably prejudicial and geographically incorrect, nonetheless, I am ignorant manboy) anyway, the Russians were no where to be found. After a quick search I realized they had charmed T-bird into letting them into the main house. I talked to T-bird and asked him if this was wise - considering that we didn't know them very well, and as I had ascertained from F, she didn't know them that well either. She only knew one of the women. I let it slide, but I began to curb my drinking.

A few moments passed, J and C were going from drunk to stoned to super-f'ing-high and happily buzzing as each new baggy emerged from their overnight gear. The other C and J were drinking and enjoying the odd mix of people. T-bird was making Glogg (warm spiced wine) and entertaining M and S, the teenage drummer and bassist for the Morphatics. But they soon ran away to avoid the "bad adult things" by hiding in T-bird's living room watching Jerry Springer until it was time for the band to play. Meanwhile Boozer was getting stoned - he's the guitarist. (I would like to declare that I never saw any drugs, nor saw anyone taking drugs at this party - it was probably all in my imagination - phew - asses covered - I hope.)

I went down to check on the Russians and walked inside the main house as one of the men was cracking the back of the busty blond Gabriella. As I was about to inquire why they were in the kitchen of the main house (B and J were away at a party downtown) I hesitated and listened to them discuss the problem of Y - it seems she was unable to urinate and this was causing her great pain. Mr. B slipped her some prescription pills from his pocket (he says he was doctor for cosmonaut) and decreed that Y would be well in 15 minutes. They finally left the house and sat on the deck.

R and M arrived. People began to skate on the pond, even though the ice was barely ready for skates. J and R arrived. The Russians were going to drive Y back to the city. She was not getting better, and still unable to urinate. Everybody was getting stoned and drunk. I began to skate and play hockey with a soccer ball and hockey sticks. I'm not sure why. It wasn't my idea, but it was fun. A call came over R's FM walkie-talkie "I'm cold, the baby's crying, I'm bored out of my mind, and I'm standing beside the car. I want to go home." Poor R. He lobbied for 15 more minutes of skating and we played some more until he had to leave. He said goodbye reluctantly and suddenly they were gone.

The Russians returned sans Y. We BBQ'd. An older couple arrived. More Russians. I didn't know who the fuck they were. Everybody assumed they were somebody's parents. C later told me he thought they were the parents of one of the kids in the band.

The band played. Nobody listened, except for Mr. Oh (F's husband who I was told by F was being asked to move out after the new year. The first steps of separation - happy new year to toi) Mr. Oh staggered up to the band and announced that we were off key and that we should tune our instruments. The band got scared. T-bird was ready to quit. I suggested we just play for ourselves, and have fun, considering M and S had waited all evening to play. We played, some people listened, but not really, we played some more, and then I figured that was enough. I started to talk to R while drinking Hot Buttered Rum that C made, - it was good, and just what I wanted.

Suddenly, the Russians stood up, put on their jackets and proceeded to gather up all their things; bedding, booze, remaining food. They said their goodbyes (realize it's only 10pm and this is a new years party.) Out of the corner of my eye, and only the corner because I'm talking to R and she has a really pretty face, and looking great and talking about books, and anyway, out of the corner of my eye, I see Mr. Oh is hot, mad, and arguing with Mr. IG and F, and then stomping around the packing Russians in a huff. Two Russians leave. Two more leave. F asks R for a ride, but J and R are leaving early.

I retreat to the deck as I see more arguments arising. F comes out and apologizes - she's leaving, Mr. Oh is drunk and belligerent and argumentative. She leaves. Mr. Oh is nearly in tears when he is dragged out barely having time to say his goodbye to me on the balcony, "we must talk, we must see more of each other, I can't even hug you, my arms are full of things." I kiss him goodbye on both cheeks and wish him a happy new year. He leaves.

Mr. IG returns moments later searching around the room, "I know they sent me for something, but I don't know what it was." He bangs his head on the bathroom ceiling. I give him a cigar for the ride home and wish him happy new year. He leaves empty handed.

J and C go into the woods, like fairies on magic dust. The rest of us skate, listen to music, drink. Now J and R leave. They've just returned from Costa Rica and they're very tired. We hug, we wish each other happy new year.

10:50pm

Now it's just Me, C and J, J and C, T-bird and Boozer. 11 people have left.

11:15 PM - We chase down J and C and the other C and bring everybody to the pond. The ice is great. Finally. We light it with flood lights and candles. We play music. We skate and throw the football around. Finally the watch strikes midnight. We pop the 5 bottles of champagne. 3 leftover from the retreating revelers. We hug, kiss and wish each other a happy new year. It's nice, peaceful and joyful. After a while, we go inside and The Big Lebowski is playing on CBC. We watch. I go back outside to check on the fire and decide to clean up, and shovel the ice. I sit for a moment beside the fire, looking at the sky and the stars and I wonder what the hell, what the hell. And I laugh. Somehow I can't wait to be back on the road again.