Big Time Truckin': True Trucking Stories
Dispatch 13: Thirty-six Things to do While Driving
by Kirk Gonnsen
Considering I drive professional 45+ hours a week, and I drive back and forth to work, and run errands in my car, AND I drive my motorcycle on the weekend for fun; I just about spend all my waking time DRIVING.
In order to lead my life to the fullest I get a lot of other things done when I'm driving.
1 Eat full meals
2 Drink considerably
3 Watch TV
4 Listen to the radio
5 Shave
6 Talk
7 Talk on the telephone
8 Talk on the CB
9 A complete clothes change from casual wear to Black Tie including socks/shoes and underwear
10 Experience two separate sex acts
11 Witness three separate sex acts taking place in other vehicles
12 Sing
13 Primal screams
14 Exercise
15 Play scratch lottery Bingo!
16 Read
17 Do homework
18 Do paperwork
19 Work
20 Weep uncontrollably
21 Urinate
22 Put on deodorant
23 Pretend to ride a horse
24 Write poetry
25 Sleep
26 Perform two separate sex acts
27 Receive surprise kiss of a first date at 100 Km/h
28 Shift gears between a female TV star's legs
29 Get pulled over by the cops while my girlfriend is completely naked and asleep in the passenger seat
30 Get 'stupidface'
31 Let go of the wheel with the hope that the car would careen off the road and kill me in the process
32 Look at a map
33 Daydream
34 Smoke cigars
35 Plan my future
36 Write this list
These things remain:
1 Stop and kill an escaped convict on the run, using my vehicle
2 Perform one final sex act
3 Smash through something dramatically
4 Win a race
