Big Time Truckin': True Trucking Stories
Dispatch 16: The Fall of the Stall Wall

by Kirk Gonnsen

Truckers are generally linguistic and oral geniuses. As I stand in line at U S Customs listening to the witty banter and clever insights about family problems and current political situations I swell up with contentment knowing that these brave men, these big-brained intelligencia are here in the middle of the night, hauling freight, instead of being home or in the oval office fucking up other people's lives with short sighted emotional backlashing.

Greater proof of this observation comes to me as I urinate in the US Customs washroom and read the stall walls. Once I'm past the cock and vagina sketches, once I've laughed about the labeled paper-toilet-seat-cover-dispenser as 'cowboy hats for J. B. Hunt drivers' (nobody likes J B Hunt drivers - although I can't tell the difference between them and all the other riff-raff) once I've stopped sighing and wishing I had a better lot in life, I peer into the mind of the trucker via the stall wall:

god shave the queen
shave her with shaving cream
fill her up at Texaco
send her to Mexico

BAD APPLES EVERYWHERE
RICH OR POOR
GREEN OR RED

GUN HAPPY AMERICA
TAX HAPPY CANADA

if you voted Bush
don't shit here!
your asshole is in Washington

All Pakis Bigots
should
DIE !!!

suck me off

clean this place up!

All American's must unite
must die

KILL OSAMA BIN LADEN
kiss my ass
sandnigger

go back to
school and
learn how to
write man

a man's brain must
be small for he
who write on the
shithouse wall

I not here cause I
be there fucking your
wife, bud

death to America
Oh Sama Ben Laden was here
91101
and they wonder why the
world hates them

(Recently U S Customs lacquered their stall walls black. In order to leave your mark you now have to scratch your message into the paint.)