A Selection of Diary Entries Based Mostly On Extrapolations Drawn from the Contents of A Hotmail Junk Mail Folder
by Enis Esmer
Jan 7th, 2002
I am very popular, and have lots of friends that send me numerous correspondences. Most of my friends call me bignis@hotmail.com. If I had to say who my best friends are, I would say Francesca, Aliza, Jill S. and asia650. They're always looking out for my best interests and making sure I have a strong support group to help me on my journey through life.
Jan 18th, 2002
I am interested in putting some of my earnings into long-term, high-yield investments, and would like to find a reputable personal finance advisor. I should mention that I have poor credit, and require some way to repair it legally and for free. Luckily I have been enrolled automatically in some sort of vaguely outlined interest rate program. I am also looking to save big bucks on inkjet cartridges.
Feb 5th, 2002
I am embarrassed at the gym, and even my own bedroom, because of the size of my penis. What I would like is to earn a huge cock, preferably one I could knock down walls with. My friend Jill S. has offered to help. If only she could help keep tabs on what my employees or children are doing online? I am worried that my children are talking to dangerous people over the Internet. These same dangerous people may also be seducing my wife.
Feb 16th, 2002
Hey, good news! My $8000 credit limit has been instantly approved! I wish I could remember applying for that!
I have so many favourite celebrities. I wish I could see them all caught fucking. Girls named Brigit are always sending me photos of them in alluring, attractive positions. Perhaps I will take one of these girls named Brigit on my free trip to Florida, which I just won.
Reminder note: I need to get larger market share for my company. Also, I would like to see some proof of women who fuck horses.
Feb. 25th, 2002
Hey, great news! My $30,000 credit limit has been instantly approved! I'm going to use some of that $30,000 to pay for my fully recognized university degree, which I am expecting in about 30 days. The diploma, from a special, non-accredited university, will be based on my present knowledge and life experience. That life experience will soon include my use of a product to shrink my stretched vagina so that I may better enjoy sex with my poorly endowed husband, and also limit leakage when I cough or sneeze.
Mar. 8th, 2002
I am worried about how the new EURO currency will affect the rest of the world. I am also concerned about whether I can handle all this XXX shaved action, or all this hot piss action, for that matter.
Again, I can't say this enough, I want to safely and effectively increase my breasts.
Mar. 20th, 2002
I've been dealing with a moral dilemma. I was accidentally sent a letter intended for a girl named Kelly. Apparently Kelly's sleepover turned a little adventurous. Needless to say, the girl who sent the letter would be very embarrassed to find her very personal correspondence, not to mention the link to the secret Web site they secretly made, in the possession of a complete stranger. And I'm sure the girl's boyfriend would be humiliated to learn he is not enough for his partner. Perhaps I will refer him to my friend Jill S.
Apr 4th, 2002
I enjoy being congratulated in Spanish, but with no explanation. However, I am tired of paying too much for erotic toys. I wouldn't mind meeting some sluts who think dogs are a girl's best friend, as opposed to man's best friend, and also as opposed to diamonds being a girl's best friend.
Apr 16th, 2002
You know what? I can get an affordable lawyer. And I love jokes! But why would I want an $800 a week job when I have already earned $30,000 in credit? Thanks for the offer, buddy_income0076e05, but you're too late.
May 30th
I've met that special someone. She makes me so happy. If she were here, I'd take her hand and say, "Susan Liveteensforu, I want me to cum too. Thank you so much for the encouragement. It'll happen one day, I just know it."
