The Somethingspace Style Guide

INTRODUCTION

The versatility afforded by the Web as a medium for publishing has both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, it allows us more opportunity to explore, unhindered by the limitations of, you know, whatever. Unfortunately, freedom can be dangerous in the hands of the irresponsible. And by "be dangerous," we mean "result in irrelevant, useless crap."

In an effort to combat this directionless shit, we at Somethingspace have developed a style guide, outlining the essential purposes of our publication and designed to focus our disorganized creative energy into an intense beam of amazingness, like a hilarious-prism or a reverse-hilarious-prism.

MORAL OBJECTIVES

-It is our duty to interfere, in any way we can, with the collaborative efforts of Ja Rule and J.Lo.
-What? Everybody with an idea for two talking animals, or some parody super heroes gets their own fucking cartoon show these days? This can't go on.
-Slavery: no
-Macaulay Culkin: when?
-Republican/Democrat: $40
-Umbrella (Culkin)

THE EVOLUTION OF HILARIOUS REFERENCES;
A QUICK REFERENCE

-R.Kelly is the new Clinton
-Bears are the new monkeys
-Wizards are the new robots
-Dean Cain is the new William Shatner
-Pirates are back!
-Statutory rapists are the new jovial pimps
-Cruel, exploitative pimps are the new midgets
-Self-parody; can we parody this?
-A robot monkey is the new Mr.T
-Dead whores: timeless

THE OBJECTS OF OUR DISDAIN

-Teenagers
-Our families
-Computers
-The cool kids
-Bitter, acerbic outsiders
-Ourselves (self parody!)
-Scientists (who's ass do we have to kick to get some decent-looking sex robots around here?)
-Quoting the Simpsons is the new quoting Monty Python

THINGS THAT NEED TO IMPROVE

-Liam needs to get that thing on his neck looked at
-Justin: less angry, more open to social interaction
-We should give something to some charity
-Ja Rule and J.Lo: 2, Somethingspace: 1
-Are we going to keep making love to these unattractive sex robots, or are we going to stand up for ourselves?

The Editors,

Liam Eagle and Justin Anderson