ROAD TRIP!!!

mixed by Liam Eagle

PERFECT FOR:

Road trip!!!

INTRODUCTION:

An essential element of the process they call "coming of age" is the long-standing and venerable tradition of the "road trip." And an essential element of the road trip is the tunes, man. When you're crammed into the back seat of your buddy's little shitbox and tensions are running high, there's only one thing that's gonna keep that road trip spirit alive, and that's rock and roll. Now if you're one of those people who likes to crank the Dr. Dre while they drive, I've got two things to tell you. First, what you're doing is called "cruising," and, while that may be cool, it's not a road trip. Secondly, if you're riding with me, it's rock and roll. And I know what you're thinking: "who needs a mix tape, man? I can just tune into the classic rock radio stations along the way." Well get ready for 100 fucking Tom Petty songs and a shitty road trip, Johnny FM. I'll be the big mix tape hero, riding shotgun the whole way.

TRACK LIST:

Deep Purple - Highway Star
Go Down Gambling - Blood Sweat and Tears
Ramblin' Man - the Allman Brothers Band
Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride
Time - The Chambers Brothers
Feel Like Makin Love - Bad Company
100 Mile High City - Ocean Colour Scene
Slow Ride - Foghat
Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum
All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
White Room - Cream
I Just Wanna Make Love To You - Foghat
Mississippi Queen - Mountain
Free Bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd

PREPARATION INSTRUCTIONS:

I already explained that there's only one kind of music for the open road, and that's rock and roll. I should point out here that when I say "rock and roll," i'm not talking about Incubus, buddy. I'm talking about classic rock. These dirty, drug-addled sons of bitches know what a road trip is all about. Their lives were road trips, man. Now, you're probably wondering about Ocean Colour Scene, who are otherwise a pretty soft-boiled group of British sissies. I don't know, man. Say what you will about their other stuff, they managed to roll the whole essense of a road trip up in to that one song. I'm sure you're also thinking "Magic Carpet Ride? What about Born To Be Wild? It's about driving." Well you either don't know Steppenwolf, or you don't know road trips. Born To Be Wild is a kick-ass song, but it's a house part song, even if it is about driving. And if I had to choose one Steppenwolf song to be on this mix, it's Magic Carpet Ride, and that's all there is to it. "Well, why not use both?" you ask. Simple. There's only one band that deserves to show up twice on a mix tape called "ROAD TRIP!!!" and that band is Foghat. Shit, man. Foghat knows the road so well the fucking band could have been called Road Trip. Actually, it probably should have been, becuase I looked up "Foghat" in the dictionary, and dude, there's no such thing.

LISTENING INSTRUCTIONS:

Speaking of Road Trip (Foghat), is "Slow Ride" the greatest song ever, or what? No, it isn't. "Go Down Gambling" by Blood Sweat and Tears is. But it's on the tape too, so don't worry.

A note about all the "making love" songs:
Relax, dude. It was the 70s, or the 60s, and they were all writing songs about "making love." Trust me, they're not Richard Marx songs or anything. You and your buddies aren't actually going to "feel like making love." You're going to feel like rocking out and pumping your fist, which is totally fine.

A note about bathroom breaks:
If you can avoid stopping, do it. We're on a road trip here, dude. We want to save our stops for situations where we may run into a wacky sherriff or a bus carrying that Swedish bikini team, or at least a situation where we'll get to all look at each other and yell "Road trip!!!" My advice: pee in beer bottles.

A note about peeing in beer bottles:
The bottle's going to get hot. Don't get freaked out and drop it in the car, dude. It's just your pee. Chill out and go with the flow. And for God's sake, don't form a seal. I know the road is bumpy and you're worried about missing, but if you press the nozzle up against the mouth of the bottle, the pressure's going to build up and, next thing you know, there's pee-mist all over the car. I don't have to tell you that pulling a stunt like that during a crucial coming-of-age road trip is going to earn you an unflattering nickname for life.