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[1] Charlton Heston
WHO: Actor; Planet of the Apes, Soylent Green, Omega Man. NRA Spokesman
PRO: Father of hammy over-the-top acting. Paved the way for the Shatners
CON: Alzheimers could make him more hilarious, or not. Same for the NRA
OUTLOOK: Weakest one-seed still deserves respect. Showdown with Shatner?
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[2] William Shatner
WHO: Actor; Captain Kirk, T.J. Hooker. Priceline.com pitch-man
PRO: Mastered hammy over-the-top acting. Did a movie in a fake language
CON: Takes himself much less seriously then Heston
OUTLOOK: Seems to have harnessed his potential. Could ride it to the final four
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[3] Jimmy "J.J." Walker
WHO: Failed comedian, 70s sitcom star ("Good Times")
PRO: Solid catchphrase (Dy-No-Mite!) killed career; adds to kitsch value
CON: They had funny clothes in the 70s, but it was 25 years ago
OUTLOOK: Hilarious Walker may not get the support he deserves
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[4] The Baldwin Brothers
WHO:Alec (Hammy), Billy (Macho), Stephen (Boyish), Daniel (Fat cokehead)
PRO: A bouquet of failed careers, drug problems, womanizing, hammy acting
CON: Alec's political activity. Seem like they might be decent guys maybe?
OUTLOOK: The Bros might have all the right tools for a long run
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[5] Scott Baio
WHO: Failed teen sitcom star; Chachi of "Happy Days" and "Joanie Loves Chachi"
PRO: Big womanizer. Real name and "Chachi" both get consistent laughs
CON: Successful womanizing balances out embarassing acting career
OUTLOOK: Nobody likes a pretty boy. Still, Chachi could grab a tough win or two
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[6] Joe Piscopo
WHO: Failed comedian/impressionist/film star/pitchman/bodybuilder
PRO: Massive failure. Massive narcissist. Funny name
CON: Bodybuilding as solace from failed acting career is, well, pathetic
OUTLOOK: As in life, Joe has a big opportunity here, but lacks talent
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[7] Erik Estrada
WHO: Failed spanish hearthrob and television star, Poncherelli of "CHiPs"
PRO: The name Poncherelli. Sunglasses. Acted like a baby, ruined his career
CON: Kinda looks like an asshole
OUTLOOK: Macho/prettyboy combo mixed with massive failure makes a good bet
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[8] Sinbad
WHO: Failed 90's comedian/sitcom/film star
PRO: Funny outfits, Funny hairdo, No last name. First name is a pirate's name
CON: Unfunny comedians are difficult to laugh at for any reason
OUTLOOK: Could be knocked out first round by Herve Villechaize
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[9] Herve Villechaize
WHO: Dead TV star; Fantasy Island
PRO: "Da Plane, Da Plane!" A womanizing french dwarf in a tuxedo
CON: Died broke. Tragic suicide
OUTLOOK: Strong and loyal midget vote might lift him past Sinbad
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[10] John Stamos
WHO: 90's sitcom star; Uncle Jesse on "Full House"
PRO: Any relationship with 'Full House' is a funny one
CON: Married a model. Actually cool?
OUTLOOK: A watered-down version of first-round opponant Estrada
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[11] Christopher Walken
WHO: Oscar winner. Film star. Tap dancer
PRO: Talks crazy. Freaky tough-guy with an affinity for dancing and singing
CON: Overused. Just the mention of his name is not that funny
OUTLOOK: Most popular impersonation in America could make him too trendy
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[12] Ralph Macchio
WHO: Failed film star. The Karate Kid
PRO: Crane kick. Headband. Guitar duel with the devil in "Crossroads"
CON: Attempt at a moustache in "My Cousin Vinnie" was just fucking gross
OUTLOOK: Wussiness might carry him past the similar Scott Baio
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[13] Billy Ray Cirus
WHO: Failed Country Singer; "Achy Breaky Heart"
PRO: Stupid song. Stupid genre of songs. Big fucking mullet
CON: Only ever really a blip on the pop-culture radar screen
OUTLOOK: Billy Ray's gonna have his hands full with the Baldwins
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[14] Judge Reinhold
WHO: Failed film star; "Beverly Hills Cop," "Vice Versa"
PRO: Underused reference. Funny name. His whole angle seemed to be 'boyish'
CON: Obscure. Wasn't a huge star, thus isn't a huge failure
OUTLOOK: The generation gap edge over J.J. is Judge's only shot at an upset
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[15] Joe E. Tata
WHO: "Nat," the proprieter of "The Peach Pit" on "Beverly Hills 90210"
PRO: This guy banged my younger cousin
CON: Not too many people know that story
OUTLOOK: Apparently "E" is for banged my cousin. You may not know the story
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[16] Regis Philbin
WHO: Wildly successful game show host. Moderately successful talk show host.
PRO: Funny name. Talks funny
CON: Losers saying "is that your final answer?" all the fucking time
OUTLOOK: In this game, success and credibility mean Regis has nothing
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